Trauma Isn’t Just What Happened — It’s What You Had to Become to Survive
When most people think about trauma, they think about the events: the accident, the war, the abuse, the abandonment. But trauma isn't only what happened to you — it's about what happened inside you as a result. It’s about how your body, mind, and identity shifted to survive an overwhelming experience.
As a trauma therapist in Alexandria and throughout Virginia, I often work with clients who say:
“I don’t know if I have trauma… but I feel stuck, numb, anxious, or like I’m always in survival mode.”
These aren’t just random symptoms — they’re deeply intelligent survival strategies that your nervous system adopted to keep you safe. And while they once served you, they may now be keeping you from living fully.
What Are Survival Responses?
Survival responses are ways your nervous system adapts to protect you from perceived danger. Common trauma-related survival patterns include:
Hypervigilance – Always scanning for danger, never able to fully relax
Emotional numbness – Feeling detached, disconnected, or "flat"
People-pleasing – Prioritizing others' needs to avoid conflict or rejection
Dissociation – Feeling spaced out, like you’re watching life happen from the outside
Freeze/shutdown – Avoiding, procrastinating, or mentally “checking out” when overwhelmed
You didn’t choose these patterns.
Your brain chose them for you — to help you survive.
Healing Means Unlearning What Once Kept You Safe
Healing trauma isn’t about pushing through or forcing change. It’s about gently unlearning what no longer serves you — and relearning how to feel safe, embodied, and connected in the present.
Two powerful, evidence-based methods that support this process are EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems).
How EMDR Helps Unwire Old Survival Responses
EMDR is a brain-based therapy that helps reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their emotional charge. But more than that — it helps your nervous system learn that the danger is over.
Through bilateral stimulation (like eye movements), EMDR allows your brain to revisit traumatic material without being overwhelmed. Over time, the body begins to respond differently:
That racing heart calms down
The urge to freeze or flee softens
Safety becomes felt, not just intellectual
As a trauma therapist in Virginia specializing in EMDR, I’ve seen how it can reduce long-standing anxiety, dissociation, and the need for hypervigilance — not through willpower, but through nervous system reprocessing.
IFS: Reconnecting with the Parts of You That Had to Survive
IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a gentle, compassionate therapy that helps you explore and heal the “parts” of yourself that developed in response to trauma.
For example, the people-pleasing part?
It likely showed up to protect you from criticism, rejection, or emotional abandonment.
The shutdown part?
It learned that disappearing was safer than being noticed.
IFS teaches you how to build a relationship with these parts instead of trying to "fix" them. You learn to:
Understand why they exist
Thank them for how they’ve helped
Invite them to take on new roles in a safer present
When paired with EMDR, IFS creates a deeply integrative path forward — one that honors your inner world while releasing stored trauma.
You Can Stop Surviving. You Can Start Living.
The fact that you’ve survived is a testament to your strength.
But surviving isn’t the same as thriving.
In therapy, we create space to gently shift from hypervigilance to calm, from shutdown to connection, from people-pleasing to self-trust.
If you're looking for a trauma therapist in Alexandria or anywhere in Virginia, and you’re ready to unlearn the patterns that once protected you, I’d be honored to walk with you through that healing journey.
Ready to Begin?
I offer both in-person sessions in Fairfax, VA, and virtual trauma therapy for clients across Virginia.
Let’s work together to help you feel safe in your body, empowered in your story, and connected in your life.
Contact me today or schedule a consultation to learn more.